I search for peace in silence.
In abandoned rooms,
in deficiency of people.
I wish to sink into emptiness.
Nothingness should feel calm,
quiet.
But it is a universe full of incessant echoes instead,
of unspoken thoughts,
grief,
and desires.
And when silence starts biting at the edge of my
sanity, I run off to the crowd of reassuring faces
and unplaced names.
Fall apart in the arms of men
I love
but do not recognize.
Coop myself in familiarity,
in vile words pouring off soft lips
that glisten from pauseless sips of venomous wine;
deception is more welcome than
desolation.
It is not sadness that I seek escape from,
it is the lack of happiness.
I do not know if I am running towards
something or away from it,
all I recognize is the desperation to run.
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