Wrong
Wrong comes to me in different forms shapes, sizes, and faces. The same devil in a new mask – a test of identification. I want to tell the Devil, “I recognise you, I remember the pain you enjoy causing me. My tears make you happy, and your happiness is the only kind of love I know.”
2 hours ago1 min read
Scorpio
The line between the desire to be loved, and to love – when you deeply crave someone’s presence how much of your boundaries are you ready for them to encroach? Sacrifice comes in many faces. To confess is to sacrifice your ego; to wait is to sacrifice your sanity; to expect is to sacrifice your rationality – how many sacrifices are you willing to make in the name of love. The end is painful; fear of the end is worse. Helplessness isn’t lack of faith in oneself; it is the
5 days ago1 min read
Innocence
What can stay to be innocent while also being full of experience? Could human life unfold that way? May I choose to live that way? The world keeps resisting – insisting that I learn its ways. Can learning not happen without practicing? Can I not learn hatred without hating; learn envy without envying? I want to go back to the beginning. To when my body felt joy for the very first time. How confused must I have been. How warm. When did it become a habit? I want to go back to t
Jul 161 min read
Melancholy
I don’t know if there’s a way to explain this desperation for solitude. The feeling that I am doing something fundamentally wrong by seeking constant companionship. The feeling that I am betraying myself by wanting to share my time with another person. The question comes down to if this feeling shall stay with every companionship that I may ever encounter, or if the craving for loneliness is born of mere mediocrity of the company that I have lived through yet. It is an impo
May 171 min read
Undeniable Truth
It is one truth that I am lost. That I occasionally step outside whatever this is—this rhythm of days, this idea of structure— the matrix; and see it for what it might be: constructed, fragile, almost rehearsed. I am told to come out of my head, to stop hoping for fantasies to come alive. But how do I do that when I am perfectly aware of the fantasy we live through every day? The façade of normalcy, the lie that life is structured or the belief that time moves cleanly forwa
Apr 292 min read
Definition of things
When a really bad person leaves our life, is it okay to miss the good parts of them? Is it okay to look for those same qualities in other people? Or is that a quiet betrayal of oneself? Someone recently asked me if everything needs a definition. If we are aware of what we feel, grateful for it, and mindful of where it comes from—why do we need to name it at all? Can something be meaningful without being clearly defined? There is a certain beauty in what remains unsaid. There
Apr 272 min read
The First Meeting
You enumerate the number of times you got lost driving through cities you have lived in your whole life and I tell you how good I am with directions - balance. You tell me that you remember me through life that's constantly happening to you. I tell you of all the little things that remind me of you, and trust me there are a million - from the green of the leaves that match the green of your shirt when we first met, the crooked way the river turns like the curve of your lips.
Mar 111 min read
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