Melancholy
I don’t know if there’s a way to explain this desperation for solitude. The feeling that I am doing something fundamentally wrong by seeking constant companionship. The feeling that I am betraying myself by wanting to share my time with another person. The question comes down to if this feeling shall stay with every companionship that I may ever encounter, or if the craving for loneliness is born of mere mediocrity of the company that I have lived through yet. It is an impo
11 hours ago1 min read
Undeniable Truth
It is one truth that I am lost. That I occasionally step outside whatever this is—this rhythm of days, this idea of structure— the matrix; and see it for what it might be: constructed, fragile, almost rehearsed. I am told to come out of my head, to stop hoping for fantasies to come alive. But how do I do that when I am perfectly aware of the fantasy we live through every day? The façade of normalcy, the lie that life is structured or the belief that time moves cleanly forwa
Apr 292 min read
Definition of things
When a really bad person leaves our life, is it okay to miss the good parts of them? Is it okay to look for those same qualities in other people? Or is that a quiet betrayal of oneself? Someone recently asked me if everything needs a definition. If we are aware of what we feel, grateful for it, and mindful of where it comes from—why do we need to name it at all? Can something be meaningful without being clearly defined? There is a certain beauty in what remains unsaid. There
Apr 272 min read
The First Meeting
You enumerate the number of times you got lost driving through cities you have lived in your whole life and I tell you how good I am with directions - balance. You tell me that you remember me through life that's constantly happening to you. I tell you of all the little things that remind me of you, and trust me there are a million - from the green of the leaves that match the green of your shirt when we first met, the crooked way the river turns like the curve of your lips.
Mar 111 min read
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