Innocence
What can stay to be innocent while also being full of experience? Could human life unfold that way? May I choose to live that way? The world keeps resisting – insisting that I learn its ways. Can learning not happen without practicing? Can I not learn hatred without hating; learn envy without envying? I want to go back to the beginning. To when my body felt joy for the very first time. How confused must I have been. How warm. When did it become a habit? I want to go back to t
5 hours ago1 min read
Melancholy
I don’t know if there’s a way to explain this desperation for solitude. The feeling that I am doing something fundamentally wrong by seeking constant companionship. The feeling that I am betraying myself by wanting to share my time with another person. The question comes down to if this feeling shall stay with every companionship that I may ever encounter, or if the craving for loneliness is born of mere mediocrity of the company that I have lived through yet. It is an impo
May 171 min read
Undeniable Truth
It is one truth that I am lost. That I occasionally step outside whatever this is—this rhythm of days, this idea of structure— the matrix; and see it for what it might be: constructed, fragile, almost rehearsed. I am told to come out of my head, to stop hoping for fantasies to come alive. But how do I do that when I am perfectly aware of the fantasy we live through every day? The façade of normalcy, the lie that life is structured or the belief that time moves cleanly forwa
Apr 292 min read
Definition of things
When a really bad person leaves our life, is it okay to miss the good parts of them? Is it okay to look for those same qualities in other people? Or is that a quiet betrayal of oneself? Someone recently asked me if everything needs a definition. If we are aware of what we feel, grateful for it, and mindful of where it comes from—why do we need to name it at all? Can something be meaningful without being clearly defined? There is a certain beauty in what remains unsaid. There
Apr 272 min read
The First Meeting
You enumerate the number of times you got lost driving through cities you have lived in your whole life and I tell you how good I am with directions - balance. You tell me that you remember me through life that's constantly happening to you. I tell you of all the little things that remind me of you, and trust me there are a million - from the green of the leaves that match the green of your shirt when we first met, the crooked way the river turns like the curve of your lips.
Mar 111 min read
Siblings
womb – the only and the original home. womb – like an expanding universe; and us – a suspended planet on our own. you and I expelled into this universe from the same universe. no wonder the recognition is different from any other existing thing.
Jan 211 min read
Its just a song
Music? https://youtu.be/GzMzTOxKntA?si=WZPhFoqtg-cxJGqh Dreams won’t come true. When I dream, I dream of you. Babe, thought it was a phase. Its been a thousand years and still I’m at the same place. Wait, you told me to wait. Don’t know what I was waiting for but I’m losing faith. I tried my best to stay with you. Now look what you just made me do. I’ll grow alone and write these songs. Babe, why don’t you cry? I left you and since the moment I left you I…. [Dream of yo
Dec 7, 20251 min read
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